Twisted Perception, Let Art Sing Of Deception

Last day to see, First day to pray. Will distance grow its strength, Or will love fade to faint? Because memories forever stay Whether with proximity or far away, In season of life or if death due us part A collective heart will live eternal in this May.

I’ve only ever wanted life so long as it was within my ability to do two things: endure it’s struggles and relish in its pleasures without the help of another, ever; and live with absolute liberty. Unfortunately, I feel as though both of these things have been compromised, but alas, I’ve no desire to exit this life. Therefore I’ve determined that somewhere along the way, I missed something: some key component to my existence, some force that drives my heart’s consistent beat, outside of what I had previously thought. I still am unable to determine what that thing is, but knowing there is something, knowing that there’s still more to this world that I want to be a part of, I will persist, and I wont let you take away from me all that is dear. The summer is mine, and I will use it to hold on to whatever anchors me to this perpetually worsening existence. One thing seems to be easier though: my feelings toward you. See, I previously had to mesh my feelings of hatred toward you with what felt like a responsibility to love you; now, I can just hate you. The feeling that gives me is so liberating that it brings me laughter. Hahahahahaha I’ll win this little battle, bitch. I’ve also learned recently that you’ve been able to see everything that I’ve posted online. So, if you can see this: I hate you. But I will tolerate you Until I never have to see you Again. This just made me happy as hell. 

Standing on the fringe of all I ever wanted, testing it’s sliver of a surface similar to freshly frozen, thin ice covering a lake, I threatened to test the intangible limits of shimmering emotions. As I stood—tottering, fearlessly in appearance, though on the inside like already shattered glass on the precipice of separation, like a moment in time, dissected, and finely sliced for observation—I cast away all apprehension. Though hesitation had initially plagued my previous initiatives, I willfully cast myself forward into a murky abyss, fouled by a veiling mist. At the bottom, I found a grim misfortune that brought me a certain sick pleasure. Everything I had slipped through my fingers, it’s current much too strong to cut off, but alas, I regret nothing. For who is intentionally lost, takes little pleasure in being found. For those still lingering on the fringe, I pity you. For the soul grows cold when you walk this life on the proverbial thin ice.